Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Love yourself to love others...

Hey Bloggers,

Do you ever feel unappreciated?  Do you ever despise yourself simply because of who you are?  Are you prone to fault yourself rather than praise yourself?

'Love yourself to love others, have emotion to give emotion!'

We are all very much linked.  The human race's communication skills are so well developed that we are in fact able to influence others thoughts and feeling and communicate our own thoughts and feelings without even thinking about it.  Subconsciously, our motor facial muscles are working overtime to constantly change our expressions to match our moods, our sweat glands, salivary glands, eye muscles and so much more all indicate our feelings to others.  Though, like I have said, these processes are subconscious so if we are to change how they work and portray us, we have to change how we think.

Love is one emotion that can be hard for some people to master.  They may either be too prone to attachment or too prone to detachment; they may form connections with other people that are too strong or too weak.  Both of these instances, I believe, are caused by doubt and lack of appreciation for you.  If you immediately try to form strong connections with everyone you meet, it shows you have an obsessive nature and want to hold onto things too tightly - this maybe because you feel you will lose this new person if you don't.  However, we all know that obsession can lead do you driving people away.  Also, if you are not very good at letting people in, this may indicate that you’re paranoid people are going to: let you down, stab you in the back or use you for something.  This can be again down to the fact you do not have much appreciation for yourself and don't think people will love you for who you are.

If you feel there is nothing to love about you, there is nothing to love about you!  Your mind is so powerful it can influence your entire persona.  This self-loathing thought will eventually become so embedded into your brain that you may begin to associate yourself with coldness, boringness, sadness and many other negative attributes.  You can already see that just this simple thought is leading to depression.  What you feel on the inside really does show on the outside.  Your face will end up having a natural dull look to it - most of which can be seen by the eyes which are one of the primary methods of communication.  Eventually others will begin to naturally associate you with dullness and may not want to know you - and who can blame them?

I will admit to having been one of the over attached people; one of the people in life who was obsessed with having everyone stuck to my side.  However, this idea does not work in the real world and as I got older, I found this out the hard way.  All my eggs were going into one basket, I was trying to limit the number of friends I had simply so I could have lifelong friends - it was a security thing as I hate leaving people and saying long goodbyes.  The thing that I have noticed between my mind’s set then and now was that I had a very low self-esteem.  I had little drive and thought myself into depression.  Though I wasn't really depressed, I had just told myself that I was so many times that I eventually believed it.  I also told myself that no one wanted to know me as I was strange and odd, and I believed it.

So, to change myself, I started to just appreciate myself for who I was and what I was.  Many of us try to seek why we are a certain way; some of us find out, some of us don't - do we need to know?  If it is comforting for you to have a purpose, give yourself one!  Try to come to your own decision as to your purpose in life - make it positive though.  You don't need to share it with the world, as long as you believe it is your purpose; then it is your purpose!  This appreciation for yourself will enable you to eventually appreciate others.  It will also mean you feel a lot happier, and you will look a lot happier.  People love being around happy, uplifting and cheery people.

If it helps you, write a list of your good qualities and bad qualities.  The list of your good qualities you embrace, and the bad qualities you need to work on.  Look for reasons why you think you exhibit these qualities and then remove them - or even better, turn them on their head.  Make them seem good.  If someone asked me to write a list of my bad qualities 3 or 4 years ago, I could reel them off though now, I would struggle.  It is not because I am cocky or over confident - it is because I believe we all have a purpose here, so see problems as a learning curve to make me a better person.  Though, I also appreciate others.  And that my friend, I honestly believe, is the key to living a fulfilled, happy life.  If you can appreciate everyone for who they are, you will find it easier to appreciate yourself for who you are!  Belief is all you need.

What do you think?  Also, this is a new thing, but if you’re having problems turning your bad qualities into good ones, email them through to me and I'll do it for you.  Follow me here or on Twitter @

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  1. Jack-I agree absolutely that appreciating others, and appreciation in general, is the key to a happy life. Seems like you're definitely on the right track.

  2. Thanks for the reply, I love to hear people's thoughts and it is even better to hear people agreeing with me :D