Sunday, 10 July 2011

Insecurity increases security...

Hey Bloggers,

Are you someone who has been hurt mentally of physically by someone or something you once adored? Are you someone who has never had a father, mother, grandparent or sibling?

'Insecurity increases security, a hole plugged with paper is better than a hole not plugged at all.'

Well, some may think the statement today is a bit contradictory – which I could agree with. I have said that being insecure makes you more secure – which will be expanded later on. Though, after this I have stated that 'a hole plugged with paper is better than a hole not plugged'. What I mean by that is if you are missing something in life, anything will do. Not in all cases but, the criteria is less specific and less fussy in desperation. Look at the amount of wives who live with men who may physically abuse them, sleep around and just use them as a doormat. Look at how much these women will put up with yet, they do not choose to leave their husbands because their husbands are plugging a pretty big hole in their lives.

I'll expand on my metaphor before I begin to get to the point of today's post. Imagine we are all a bath tub – yes I know, very strange. Our bath tubs are all filled up to the same level and are all the same shape. However, the materials used vary. Sections of our bath tubs are made of different materials to other sections – some areas are stronger, others are weaker. This therefore means, our emotional priorities and aspirations are slightly different. As long as we have a stable upbringing, the water will remain in the bath and will not be leaking out. However, if you are brought up without a father, there is a hole in the bath. Now depending on the person, depends on the size of the hole. However, with everyone who is missing something, there is a hole. This hole may not appear to be a big problem until the person becomes aware of what they are missing. In fact, the material around this area of the bath may be keeping the water in but, it may be very, very weak. Perhaps when the person first begins school and notices people discussing their fathers and notices they cannot join in, they feel that they are perhaps missing out. Not in all cases, but in some cases, this person now begins to notice how much water they are loosing. So, with time, a desperation to plug the hole manifests. The only criteria maybe shape for this plug. Therefore, the person will use anything of the correct shape to plug the hole regardless. And because of the desperation, the person will hold onto this plug really, really tightly as they know if it goes, a lot of water will go with it.

Is the statement any clearer to you now? If not, it doesn't matter as I am going to explain. People who are consciously missing something – the father example may not always work as they may grow up so ignorant they don't know what a father even is – will try to find some way of gaining that missing part. Due to their need for the part, like I have mentioned before, the criteria is not very specific and not very fussy – most things will do. So, this is where the insecurity is, missing something. This insecurity means the person will strive for security. So, when the plug comes along – be it a person, car, house or whatever – the person will really appreciate it and therefore protect it. In terms of the metaphor, they may place additional material around the plug or really watch it and maintain it to ensure it doesn't degrade or give way. They are ensuring that they have security and by taking all these precautions, they have it.

So, what is your reaction to this post? Do you agree with what I have said? Can you follow what I have said? Let me know in the comments below and follow me here or on Twitter

and you can email me any thoughts you don't want to be made public on

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